WHAT A PROPHECY.
OUTFIT PROMPT 011626—SAM FROM A CINDERELLA STORY
“You’re not very pretty and you’re not very bright.” Quote Jennifer Coolidge in a Cinderella, story, quote the high-waisted ReDone jeans I just attempted to put on my body. Wearing tight high-waisted pants feels like being locked up in a maximum security prison. It’s like wearing a chastity belt, a girdle, reminds me of Keira Knightly cinching up her corset in Pirates of the Caribbean. It feels so sincerely evil that the last time I tried to put these pants on, I got overstimulated and borderline dizzy and kicked them off in such a haste that they sat crumpled like a discarded origami swan in the corner of my room for a full week.
A few summers back I had a major crush on a boy who told me baggy pants would change my life. “Once you go baggy, you never go back,” were his exact words in my exact memory. What a prophecy. I didn’t believe him at the time, even though I’m usually willing to believe in anything my crush-du-jour has to say.
I wake up early this morning to watch Megan on the news. 7:30AM, usually a time reserved for airport departures, is such an unfamiliar wakeup call that I gasp when I see the way the light hits the trees outside my window. I call Gutes to wake her up because we promised to wake up at the same time. I’m leaning my head out the fire escape, the sunrise perfectly slotted between the two buildings at the end of my block.
“Who knew I lived at fucking sunrisehenge,” I say, slamming the window shut and sitting on my vibration plate from Tik Tok shop to turn on NBC Now (I’m very afraid of the concept of Tik Tok shop but Ella accidentally bought two vibration plates so what was I gonna do? Plus it’s pink.)
It is rather infrequently that I find myself watching the news. They’re running a segment about child pornography before 8am, which feels like a choice. I talk on the phone till brilliant beautiful Megan comes on screen to talk about desks. My personal desk is actually just a surfboard I’ve managed to balance between two distinct bookshelves. I’m writing to you from it right now.